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In the course of researching my history-of-crazy-fashions book (as yet unsold), I came across some harrowing stories about the perils people have faced as they mined gold, silver, and precious gems. Pearl divers also faced dreadful dangers, but after a fair amount of digging, I’ve come to the conclusion that the stories about deep-sea divers who got their arms or legs or heads trapped in the jaws of Giant Clams are universally exaggerated. At least, no account of a human death-by-clam has ever been confirmed.

Still, I remember as a kid hearing tales of these divers, who were forced to make that ghastly decision: do I drown down here in the murky depths, with my leg clamped by this giant mollusk, or do I pull out the handy dagger that I brought along for just such an occasion, and cut off my own leg in order to free myself?

English: Tridacna gigas (Giant clam) in Aquarium Finisterrae (House of the Fishes), in Corunna, Galicia, Spain.

I was prompted to revisit this dilemma after I finally saw the movie 127 Hours. In the climactic scene of the movie, James Franco (playing the role of the real-life hiker, Aron Ralston), gets pinned by a boulder and has to saw off his arm just below the elbow with the equivalent of a butter knife in order to free himself. (I can’t have spoiled that for you; even those who haven’t seen the movie know that that’s what happens.)

I also read the recent story in the Sunday New York Times Magazine about people who “go noodling” for giant catfish, using their bare arms as bait. As one fisherman said, “Catfish are gonna bite the thunder out of you.”

But back to the giant clams. The giant Tridacna gigas clam lives on the reefs of the Indian and Pacific Oceans and can reach four feet in length and can weigh more than five hundred pounds. Once it settles on the sea floor, the clam never moves, except to open and close its shell. And it does so very slowly. It’s not like one of those spring-loaded bear traps, or even a Venus fly trap.  In order to get trapped, you’d have to move about as fast as the dimwitted guard in this Austin Powers steamroller scene.

Anyway, these bivalves are vegetarians. They consume algae and plankton, and would have no interest in consuming a neoprene-coated human.

Still, I don’t think I could let myself dive into deep, murky water and wave my arm around for a huge catfish to clamp onto it. And I’ve often wondered if I’d have it in me to saw off part of my body in order to save what’s left of it. I just hope I never have to face that dilemma.